It's not everyday that a person admits they are crazy. I don't know for sure if im crazy, but it feels like it. How much should a Conspiracy Theorist really keep their mind open? Open to all possibilities that the government staged 9/11? Open to Aliens & UFO's? Open to FEMA Concentration Camps here in the U.S.? Open to the Philidolphia Experiment? Project Gardenplot? What should I truly believe? I gaurentee some of that and more are true, but how should a person control it in their minds so that it doesn't effect the way they think? I don't know....that why today I am writing this because I've been so deep into conspiracies that I've lost sight of who I really am. The problem with me is that I thought so strongly from Worldwide Conspiracies such as the Illuminati to my own personal life conspiracies such as wondering if my Fiance is really loyal, if my friends will backstab me again, etc.....I've dug so far deep into being a Conspiracy Theorist that I made conspiracies out of my own life. I'm ashamed of myself and who I have become. Today, I will tell you the real me.
I am Timothy Alan Weaver, born on August 4th, 1988 in Jacksonville, NC in the Military Hospital on Camp Lejeune. I was born at 6:31pm. I loved Yo-Yo's as I grew up and made story's out of my action figures. I stayed in my room 24/7 to play with my figures and make a movie out of my imagination.
As I grew older I started spending more time with my family. I was a big family get-together nut. I LOVED being with my family....When my Great Grandparents died, everyone split their own ways. Some were greedy, some weren't. During childhood, my dad sometimes wasn't the best father I put him out to be...He beat Brandon & I a lot. He was so stuck in the old days that he beat us with belts across our backs & arms, to teach us a lesson in life.
Throughout childhood no one liked my except for my two best friends Abbey Hill & Matt Angelmyer. Abbey grew up with me next door. Her Grandma Elsie lived next door and was a good friend of ours. Abbey was like a sister to me....I was made fun of and picked on throughout school....Matt & Abbey were the only two that stood up for me. They were the only two that even cared....
Around....6th grade Abbey left. I still had Matt but someone who grew up with you leaving is sadning (hopefully I spelled it right). Matt & I have been best friends since before preschool. He was in his own little "I just don't give a fuck" group lol. Otsego at the time was sperated as Popular/Non-Popular (That was because we were young so being "cool" was the latest fad). By the time 7th grade rolled around, my parents wanted a divorce. My dad never came home for a whole month. Late 7th grade, I had to undergo surgery (for the 9th time) for my leg. After the surgery I was wheeled back to my room with my mom walking beside me while all of a sudden the lady at the desk said my mom had a phone call. Well at the time my mom & dad were still married but just had their constant fueds. Anyways...it was my brother on the line. He was mentioning that some woman that dad has been with for a while had given him a bottle of cologne. My my fuckin flipped out. That started the major war between my mother & father.
As I grew up, things got far worse. My Grandma (My Idol in life) passed away, the cats I cared SO MUCH about (Mindy & Zippy) had to be given away, snapped my ankle in half, snapped my leg in half, so much more shit.
Dad left and my mom, brandon, & I had to move to Bowling Green. I started High School there and the first person I met was a friend by the name of Aaron Link. Funny guy might I add. We became close friends because Brandon & I got him into an MMORPG (Mass-Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) called "Runescape". It even to this day is an excellent game. (I play World of Warcraft so I have no use for Runescape.) Anyways....I gain a humungous amount of friends just in my 9th grade year. I had never had so many people appriciate me in my entire life.
Everyday, people who I didn't know said hi to me, teachers didn't hate me, school grades were amazing, everything went GREAT. As I told you all before, everything got worse right? Well things have to get better before they can get worse. It's a constant cycle. 10th grade rolled around and this was the year that started everything wrong.
I got into fights, smoked pot all of the time and drank a lot. I hated life because I had no clue who I really was. At the time, I wanted to sign-up for the military but if I remember correctly I couldn't because I was.....16 I believe....but at 17 I tried and failed because they couldn't accept me for my unbendable left leg. That hurt me a lot since my biggest goal in life was to be like my father and join the Marines. I failed. My grades were slipping because even after divorce my family hated each other...I didn't have family gatherings, I didn't even have family that loved each other, I didn't have my Grandmother, I didn't have my dad since he was with Cindy, I didn't have anybody.
I was going through massive depression at the time and didn't want to live. I felt....alone. I tried hanging myself for it....but greatly failed. I was taken to CRC by my mom as a way to 'treat me'. They said I had "Anger Issues" and that was the cause of my depression. I went kept on smoking and drinking to drown my problems away...
I somewhat passed Sophomore and failed Junior horribly. Then.....once Senior hit, things got somewhat better.
Got excellent grades, passed High School after finishing classes that I needed to re-take. After I got done with BGHS, I wanted to leave B.G. in hopes of starting a new life. All of you know what the rest is.....New York.....Cedar Point.....Dayton.....Bowling Green.....
I'm 20 years old and soon to be 21 on August 4th, 2009. I do not smoke, nor do I drink. I haven't for a long time now. I am currently engaged to the most amazing woman I have ever known-Adriana Seiler. I love her with all of my heart and forever will. Ever since she has come into my life, everything has been the best! She has cured my depression & stop my nightmares of war. I have sold my Playstation 3 to even better myself as a person by doing other things rather than video games. I don't play WoW (World of Warcraft) anymore. She has made the biggest difference in my life and she means everything to me. I love her with all of my heart and would NEVER trade her for all of the money in the world. She's worth more than anything & everything to me :-)
For all of you who doesn't know, I am a Freemason. If you have anything bad to say to me about it, then I'll turn you a def ear. I love my Fraternity and forever will.
I want to apologize to everyone for how much I have changed.....
I want to mostly apologize to Adriana....I'm sorry I worry all of the time, and tell you that I'm scared of you cheating and of losing you. I'm sorry for talking about conspiracies and creeping you out. All I want in life is to be with you forever. I could never ask for anything or anyone better than that. I love you Adriana Candace Seiler, and I'll always be there for whenever you need.
Thanks everyone for reading. Hopefully you all understand me a little more now.
P.S.-Sorry for all of the misspelling and shit....I don't feel like reading that again and redoing shit.