My Life Story

It's not everyday that a person admits they are crazy. I don't know for sure if im crazy, but it feels like it. How much should a Conspiracy Theorist really keep their mind open? Open to all possibilities that the government staged 9/11? Open to Aliens & UFO's? Open to FEMA Concentration Camps here in the U.S.? Open to the Philidolphia Experiment? Project Gardenplot? What should I truly believe? I gaurentee some of that and more are true, but how should a person control it in their minds so that it doesn't effect the way they think? I don't know....that why today I am writing this because I've been so deep into conspiracies that I've lost sight of who I really am. The problem with me is that I thought so strongly from Worldwide Conspiracies such as the Illuminati to my own personal life conspiracies such as wondering if my Fiance is really loyal, if my friends will backstab me again, etc.....I've dug so far deep into being a Conspiracy Theorist that I made conspiracies out of my own life. I'm ashamed of myself and who I have become. Today, I will tell you the real me.

I am Timothy Alan Weaver, born on August 4th, 1988 in Jacksonville, NC in the Military Hospital on Camp Lejeune. I was born at 6:31pm. I loved Yo-Yo's as I grew up and made story's out of my action figures. I stayed in my room 24/7 to play with my figures and make a movie out of my imagination.

As I grew older I started spending more time with my family. I was a big family get-together nut. I LOVED being with my family....When my Great Grandparents died, everyone split their own ways. Some were greedy, some weren't. During childhood, my dad sometimes wasn't the best father I put him out to be...He beat Brandon & I a lot. He was so stuck in the old days that he beat us with belts across our backs & arms, to teach us a lesson in life.

Throughout childhood no one liked my except for my two best friends Abbey Hill & Matt Angelmyer. Abbey grew up with me next door. Her Grandma Elsie lived next door and was a good friend of ours. Abbey was like a sister to me....I was made fun of and picked on throughout school....Matt & Abbey were the only two that stood up for me. They were the only two that even cared....

Around....6th grade Abbey left. I still had Matt but someone who grew up with you leaving is sadning (hopefully I spelled it right). Matt & I have been best friends since before preschool. He was in his own little "I just don't give a fuck" group lol. Otsego at the time was sperated as Popular/Non-Popular (That was because we were young so being "cool" was the latest fad). By the time 7th grade rolled around, my parents wanted a divorce. My dad never came home for a whole month. Late 7th grade, I had to undergo surgery (for the 9th time) for my leg. After the surgery I was wheeled back to my room with my mom walking beside me while all of a sudden the lady at the desk said my mom had a phone call. Well at the time my mom & dad were still married but just had their constant fueds. Anyways...it was my brother on the line. He was mentioning that some woman that dad has been with for a while had given him a bottle of cologne. My my fuckin flipped out. That started the major war between my mother & father.

As I grew up, things got far worse. My Grandma (My Idol in life) passed away, the cats I cared SO MUCH about (Mindy & Zippy) had to be given away, snapped my ankle in half, snapped my leg in half, so much more shit.

Dad left and my mom, brandon, & I had to move to Bowling Green. I started High School there and the first person I met was a friend by the name of Aaron Link. Funny guy might I add. We became close friends because Brandon & I got him into an MMORPG (Mass-Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) called "Runescape". It even to this day is an excellent game. (I play World of Warcraft so I have no use for Runescape.) Anyways....I gain a humungous amount of friends just in my 9th grade year. I had never had so many people appriciate me in my entire life.

Everyday, people who I didn't know said hi to me, teachers didn't hate me, school grades were amazing, everything went GREAT. As I told you all before, everything got worse right? Well things have to get better before they can get worse. It's a constant cycle. 10th grade rolled around and this was the year that started everything wrong.

I got into fights, smoked pot all of the time and drank a lot. I hated life because I had no clue who I really was. At the time, I wanted to sign-up for the military but if I remember correctly I couldn't because I was.....16 I believe....but at 17 I tried and failed because they couldn't accept me for my unbendable left leg. That hurt me a lot since my biggest goal in life was to be like my father and join the Marines. I failed. My grades were slipping because even after divorce my family hated each other...I didn't have family gatherings, I didn't even have family that loved each other, I didn't have my Grandmother, I didn't have my dad since he was with Cindy, I didn't have anybody.

I was going through massive depression at the time and didn't want to live. I felt....alone. I tried hanging myself for it....but greatly failed. I was taken to CRC by my mom as a way to 'treat me'. They said I had "Anger Issues" and that was the cause of my depression. I went kept on smoking and drinking to drown my problems away...

I somewhat passed Sophomore and failed Junior horribly. Then.....once Senior hit, things got somewhat better.

Got excellent grades, passed High School after finishing classes that I needed to re-take. After I got done with BGHS, I wanted to leave B.G. in hopes of starting a new life. All of you know what the rest is.....New York.....Cedar Point.....Dayton.....Bowling Green.....

I'm 20 years old and soon to be 21 on August 4th, 2009. I do not smoke, nor do I drink. I haven't for a long time now. I am currently engaged to the most amazing woman I have ever known-Adriana Seiler. I love her with all of my heart and forever will. Ever since she has come into my life, everything has been the best! She has cured my depression & stop my nightmares of war. I have sold my Playstation 3 to even better myself as a person by doing other things rather than video games. I don't play WoW (World of Warcraft) anymore. She has made the biggest difference in my life and she means everything to me. I love her with all of my heart and would NEVER trade her for all of the money in the world. She's worth more than anything & everything to me :-)

For all of you who doesn't know, I am a Freemason. If you have anything bad to say to me about it, then I'll turn you a def ear. I love my Fraternity and forever will.

I want to apologize to everyone for how much I have changed.....

I want to mostly apologize to Adriana....I'm sorry I worry all of the time, and tell you that I'm scared of you cheating and of losing you. I'm sorry for talking about conspiracies and creeping you out. All I want in life is to be with you forever. I could never ask for anything or anyone better than that. I love you Adriana Candace Seiler, and I'll always be there for whenever you need.

Thanks everyone for reading. Hopefully you all understand me a little more now.


P.S.-Sorry for all of the misspelling and shit....I don't feel like reading that again and redoing shit.

Addy & I's Future

So I'm sure that a lot of you are wondering what is to become of Addy & I. Well....Addy & I are officially engaged. Yes you read it correctly....ENGAGED. Most of you are probally being pissy about it saying "You've only been dating for 7 months yadda yadda yadda" Well who the fuck cares. If you're a "Real" friend, you would be happy for me. So deal with it. I'm the most happiest I have EVER been in my ENTIRE life!!

Have we a wedding date planned? You betcha! April 13th. As I said before, a real friend would be happy for their friend no matter what, so I expect the same out of all of you. I know damn well what I am doing and know that this is a great decision. Please understand. Most relationships don't last more than 3 months not even that. Usually by 7 months, the couple starts to think of their future together. We have thought of ours and it's obvious that we are meant for each other. My close friend Mike Kasprzak dated his wife Cathy for a year and got married and had a kid. How are they to this day? An extremely happy family who love each other to death.

Just because we don't want to wait years to get married like most doesn't mean we are bad people and that the marriage won't work. I hope you all are excited and happy for us and that you will not look down upon us. Thank you for reading!

Updates!!!!!! 12/24/08

It has been a while since I have updated and as always....I have a good amount of updates!!!

1. I finally became a Master Mason!!!! I'm finally a full blooded Mason. It feel amazing to have made it to the 3rd degree. Now the last exam......great.....

2. So I was supposed to babysit Neil & Kara's car and cats for the week but they came back due to certain reasons (AIRPLANES SUCK) and to tell you the truth, I'm glad they came back. lol. I love helping people out, especially a Brother, but intrusting me with their new car and such is scary, mainly because it's winter time and that means ice and snow. If it were spring or summer, I would have NO problem at all.

3. Krogers.......still a shithole as always. I hate the place so fuckin much. A lot of people there still suck ass.

4. I'm still waiting for the day I return "Home" to the watery world that I love. I still pray for the day I return. Please guys....Welcome me home one last time, hopefully this time.....I don't ever leave. It really hurts.....to most, it's a dream world. It's my Haven. A place where I can escape pain. Take me back world.....please take me. I'm ready.

5. Addy and I are still doing great!!! I love her soooo much!!!!!!!!!! She's in Florida at the moment and I pray she makes it home safely. I miss you hunny!!!

6. Bill & I are studying for my Master Mason Exam tomorrow for the first time ever. I'm excited!!!!

7. I'm going to church tomorrow with my mom & brother.

8. Going to Neil & Kara's For part of Christmas then to Matt Angelmyer's place. Going to be sweeeeet!!

9. Going to church next week with the Brethren to celebrate St. John's Day. After Church, Worshipful Master Larry Smith is making tacos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy....

10. Finally.....I finally got a Laptop!!!! Aaron was selling a great condition Laptop and I bought it off of him. It's an Acer Aspire 5570z. So it's pretty new. The OS (Operating System) I have on it is Ubuntu Linux. Very good system. Beats Windows for the most part.....installing WiFi is a bitch though...

So peeps, not the best of announcements, but hey, it's an update.

Reality<---->Peace

How does this make any sense you might ask? Well, please read this whole article to understand. If all of you want to dig deep into my mind, then this article is perfect for you.


Reality: Bowling Green, OH. The United States of America. This place is a shithole. Most of you have heard this speech before, but I will speak my mind once more. Life is cruel, unjust, unfair, pathetic, painful, depressing, etc...Whatever you want to call it. It's bullshit at its finest.

So what am I talking about? My "Longing". My Personal World. My Dreams. My Reality.

I hate this realm. Earth is torn apart. To tell you all the truth, I really don't claim what I see most as "Reality". Why? Because it's painful. Call me a fuckin coward all you want, but that is how I am.

My dreams are my Reality. My World. In the past few years, I have had dreams that I consider "perfect". Every couple of months I return to these "worlds" and they're....peaceful. I wouldn't care if I died right this second, as long as I stayed in one of these worlds, I could NEVER be unhappy ever again.

One world, an underground city with an extremely huge waterfall and 1 mile long lake in the middle of the city. The people there usually jump from the top of the waterfall and swim the whole lake.

The next world is my favorite. The Water World. Water surrounding the city, Skyscrapers everywhere, beautiful waterfalls coming off of the skyscrapers, vehicles that run on water and can go up the skyscrapers.

You know what all these worlds have in common? I have "specific" conversations about certain stuff in these worlds with certain people. It's weird...everytime I have returned back to these worlds, they welcome me back with warm arms and remind me about the conversations from the previous dreams.

It's a living breathing world. I don't believe dreams are only in your head when they act 100% like an everyday community. Most of you will assume I'm crazy, but I really do think that dreams are real.

I miss these worlds.....sadly, It had been 6 months since my last encounter (The Water World), and I still pray even to this day, for the chance I get to return....to MY reality. People wonder why I'm so depressed all the time.....because, when I get a taste of these other worlds, I realize how much my life is miserable.

I miss my worlds. Those 2 are only the tip of the iceburg, there are so many worlds that I have experienced. Anyways...thanks for listening.

To the final step!

So last night was our first meeting in December. A new Entered Apprentice came in, and we also had my Fellowcraft Exam. First, was my Exam, and man it was great. I am impressed with how I'm actually memorizing so much and remembering it. I still remember everything from the EA Exam lol. Second, was the EA ritual for our new member. Iisac (However you spell his name) is a very outgoing dude who is really friggen cool. It feels weird that I just became a Mason a month ago.....always wondering what was going to happen to me and such. It really felt different.

So, I'm awaiting a reply from my good friend George Braatz, the Grand Secretary of Ohio, to see when would be a perfect time for my Master Mason degree. Finally, the final degree. One more Exam and NO MORE MEMORIZATION.....until I take an officer position.

Thanksgiving Weekend

I know it's only Saturday and the weekend isn't over according to you, but since I have to work tomorrow, it's defiantly over. lol. So A LOT of shit has happened this weekend. Finally another long blog. Woot!!!

So right after work on Thursday, I was picked up by Kevin & his wife Christie (However you spell it) at Kroger's and we all headed out to Neil & Kara's place for Thanksgiving. The whole day was amazing. Neil, Kara, Beth (Neil's Sister), Kevin, & Christie are wild as hell and are a lot of fun. Great hearted might I add. Guys, if you read this, hanging out with all of you for Thanksgiving was amazing and would love to get together again sometime!

That night, we ate and had fun by playing Monopoly. The game lasted a couple of hours. I was the first one to go, then Neil, and....I forgot who won.....or maybe it was a draw.

So after Thanksgiving, I went over to Bill's house around 9:30pm for about 2-3 hours. When I got in, Bill's wife Marsha challenged me to a couple of rounds of 9-Ball Pool. She did a great job, but I won both matches :-D. I still got a kick out of Bill not knowing I was there until an hour after arrived. When he heard me talking he came over to me and said "Hey there Tim! I didn't know you were here." I replied with "I've actually been here for almost an hour lol." So we both laughed and listened to Spiritual Music (It was about personally calming your body down....kind of like something you would listen to while meditating). Steve came over and chatted with us for a while about movies and such and it was a great night.

When I got back, Kasprzak (Who just returned from Dayton to hangout on the 2 days that I had off) & I drove around for a while until we decided to go to his mom's place and play Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, Motorstorm: Pacific Rift, Silent Hill: Homecoming, Mirror's Edge, & Resistance 2 till around 4-5am. So when we woke up around....9am, we headed back to my place so I could meet up with my Mom. My Mom & I had to go to AT&T to get me a new phone since my black flip phone that I've had for the longest time pretty much gave out by blue screening and the battery was a piece of shit as well. So I got my new phone, we went to Kroger's to get supplies that I needed and finished that, and then dropped me off at my house to get a shower since, Kasprzak, Bonki, Aaron, Kiesha, & I were going shopping for Black Friday sales :-D

So, I got my shower, met up with Kasprzak & Kiesha, and we headed to Aaron's place to pick him up. We then headed to Best Buy in Perrysburg so that I could grab a game that came out in late October that was on sale for $20 (It WAS $60, but because of Black Friday, I got it for $20 :-D). The game was Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway. Nabbed, that, then met Bonki at Books A Million in Levis Commons. While we waited for bonki, I did a little shopping myself and for Addy for Christmas. We then headed to Toledo to go get some food at the Golden Corral. Afterwards, we headed to the Franklin Park Mall for some shopping (God....that sounds girly).

First place we went to was Spencer's, just for quick laughs. When we got in the store, a song about kids farting on Santa's lap came on and Kasprzak & I couldn't stop laughing. So we decided to look for Hot Topic, and in there, I bought some more Christmas Gifts. I am pretty sure Addy is looking at this thinking that I'm going to mention what I bought her....hehe! Not this time hunny! I love you! Anyways...We then went to Gamestop where I got some more gifts and shit, and then decided to go to Boarder's for MORE gifts. Pretty intense eh? After that, I finally decided to get my haircut. It isn't that bad, but I'm not 100% comfortable with it.

After I got my haircut, we decided to leave and drop Kiesha & Aaron off. Bonki, Kasprzak & I went to Mike's Mom's place again to play games and watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Woke up around 11:30am today and went to the Woodland Mall to drop Bonki off and then Mike & I hung around Steve & Barry's for a while then grabbed my shit and took me home since he had to get back to Dayton.

Everything kicked ass this week and was one of the best weekends of my LIFE. I hope life keeps getting better like this. I know it will....Addy & I are moving in next year!!! :-D I get to also leave Bowling Green for that reason as well (FUCKIN FINALLY). Thanks for reading folks and take care!